Fourteen
by JustAnotherCrazyWriter
Summary: 'Jesse can't help but feel relieved that he still knows Rachel Berry; that she would pick up the pieces he left behind and turn it into something beautiful.' Rachel & Jesse spanning 14 years. Future!fic, written in two parts.
1. Part I

**Summary:** Rachel and Jesse, spanning 14 years. (future!fic)

**Notes:** I hope you guys like it! Sorry in advance for all of the angst (though it IS St. Berry) in _this particular part_, and brackets abuse. Also, I don't know a clue about NY/theatre, so sorry if that's a bit shady. It's told in two parts, the other posted at the same time as this. :D

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_fourteen_

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**one.**

One year later, and Rachel Berry is winning Nationals for her team like she is born to (_maybe she was_). At the back of the auditorium, Jesse looks on with a wry smile as Rachel, with the help of Finn (_it was always him, wasn't it?_), hoists the trophy as high as they can, one side lopsided.

They look ecstatic.

She doesn't notice him, in the end. A part of him wants her to look up and see him_ (leave Finn behind and forgive me, god please forgive me)_, but another part tells him that _maybe it's better this way_. So he slips out of the auditorium not long after the winner is announced, and can't help but feel relieved that he still knows Rachel Berry (maybe more than she understands); that she would pick up the pieces he left behind and turn it into something beautiful.

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**two.**

He transfers to Tisch the next year; after all, he can't pursue a Broadway career in LA, can he? For the first time since Vocal Adrenaline (because they were his _team_ and not all of them were soulless automatons, contrary to popular belief), he feels like he _belongs_.

He tries not to think of Rachel Berry and her strawberry shampoo, or her gold stars, or the time when they got caught by her dads making out on her bed.

Which is ironic really, since he draws from her a lot when acting (he wonders whether she's ever considered that).

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**three.**

He knows she's out of school, by now. He wonders whether she stays in Lima (yeah right), or if she won a scholarship to some prestigious art school, or maybe (and a part of him is hoping this), she comes to New York to study, or make it big on Broadway (he's almost running out of excuses).

He's almost disappointed when he doesn't see her at Tisch (it doesn't stop him looking).

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**four.**

It's four years since Vocal Adrenaline takes Nationals, and now Jesse St. James has a lead role on stage. Sure, it's a college production (it's no Broadway), but he's getting somewhere.

As he embodies his character (perfectly, if he does say so himself - and he does, jokingly, afterward, though the remark lacks his adolescent arrogance), there's a moment where he thinks that maybe he sees _her_ in the crowd, amongst the dark blur of faces, looking up at him with that same face he remembers from years ago.

(When he's offstage, he peeks out at the audience just to make sure. It isn't her.

It happens again, months later. It still isn't her. He thinks he should've expected that.)

He graduates that year, and when he gets a supporting role in an off-Broadway production, beneath the happiness, he feels _relief_, that maybe this was all worth it.

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**five.**

The off-Broadway production becomes a Broadway musical at the beginning of the year, and a part of him is damn smug about originating a role that would hopefully be remembered for years. Thousands of people come to see the show each week, and it's especially now that he remembers why he loves performing, singing in front of a crowd, being someone else (anyone else but Jesse St. James) for a while.

She _does_ come to see the musical, one night. He doesn't realise until after (because though he sees her, he was wrong the first two times, and he doesn't want to get his hopes up), when the whole cast comes up on stage for their curtain call. He sees her looking up at him, expression blank; he's still not sure how he finds her eyes through the hundreds in the auditorium, but he does, and _damn_, she meets his eyes like he never hurt her.

His smile slips, for a second, and for the first time in a while, he has to remind himself to put on his 'show face'.

After, he redresses as quickly as he can and when he reaches the stage door area, he scans every face this time, looking for _her_ in between signing Playbills.

She isn't there (again. It's the third time, now, but he never fails to be disappointed).

**/**

The musical gets nominated eight times at the Tony Awards that year (he's nominated once). They take home five (he takes home none. But he doesn't mind – he knows he's lucky for the nomination alone).

She watches from her flat a couple of blocks away, as the company walks up on stage, huge smiles and all looking like a million dollars. Her roommate asks her "Why do you care so much?" after Rachel tells her, sharply, to shut up so she can hear the speeches; for a second, she's thrown by the question.

"I- I knew him," she finally blurts out. This moment is two years in the making, and Rachel Berry finally cracks.

"What?"

"Jesse St. James. I dated him in high school."

"You dated _Jesse St. James_? The guy we saw last month in a musical that just got _five Tony Awards_ – which you never even _mentioned_, until now?"

Rachel sighs (she already regrets mentioning anything), glancing at the TV screen again, but the credits start rolling, signalling the end of the program. "It's a long story."

Her roommate gives her an incredulous look that's more '_I can't believe you never told me_' than '_I can't believe you dated Jesse St. fucking James_'. "Honey, right now, I am practically _made_ of time."

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**six.**

Six years and several small productions and little roles later, Rachel Berry finally makes it in the real world. It's a small role; nothing of her dream (_an inevitability, _something whispers in her mind that sounds so much like _him_), but she has to start somewhere. She's 22; it gets her name into the business, and that's how she ends up at an audition for a Broadway revival of _Oklahoma!_

She doesn't get the part.

She ends up being the understudy.

Rachel briefly sees her name in lights when she becomes the lead whilst Ellie goes to a wedding. She takes the stage like she is born to (and maybe she always was). She loves the instant gratification that she gets from performing to an audience, she loves singing every day, and she loves becoming someone else. Some of the cast and crew look at her differently after, like she's a different person than when she auditioned. She can't figure out if that's a good thing.

When Ellie comes back, she gives the role back, graciously.

(Giving back her dream role is like looking into the sun; when she looks away, she's blinded by its brightness, an imprint of _maybes_ and _what could've beens _on the inside of her eyelid)

**/**

He doesn't live that far away from her, he realises. One day he even sees her walking into that coffee shop opposite his apartment block. It's a complete shock; he drops the old Queen record he's holding, and just stares outside his window where the swish of dark brown hair has disappeared through the door (she's let it grown. He likes it).

A minute later, he's just about mustered enough courage to 'accidentally' bump into her, when he sees Finn Hudson walk through the doors (this time he drops his phone onto the soft carpet).

Half an hour later, the two of them walk out. Her hand is slipped under his arm, and they're laughing.

_Laughing_.

It takes him a second to realise he's jealous. He knows he shouldn't be; he doesn't even _know_ Rachel anymore. That week, he goes on his first date since he's he first started his Broadway debut – a real date, with a restaurant and typical first-date flirting; the whole works. He picks her up at seven, and he smiles because she's wearing a pretty dress, and they make easy conversation over the cheesy candlelit dinner. Her name is Melanie; she's blonde, likes alternative music, and majors in psychology. She doesn't know who he is, not really (she thinks she's heard of him and definitely knows the musical he's in, but New York is a big city, and she's not part of that scene). Jesse thinks that maybe this is why he's drawn to her.

It's the first time he doesn't compare her to Rachel, and it's the first time since _her_ that he falls in love (at some point, he stops looking out the window for the girl with the long brown hair).

It's easy with Mel. She moulds to him; he doesn't have to _try_ so much. It's easy (and maybe that's the point). But though they spend time at each other's apartments, they never move in with each other. They never breach the subject.

(Rachel meets up with Finn that day because he's in town for a few days. They're not together and she hasn't had a serious boyfriend since college. Finn flirts with her, but not seriously – they've both moved on. Rachel's still appreciative of his efforts.)

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**seven.**

Just months into their run, some of the principals in _Oklahoma! _step down.

She auditions again, and the role of Laurey is given to her.

(_Singing _Don't Cry For Me Argentina_ in front of a sold-out crowd isn't a dream; it's an inevitability._)

After the initial happiness calms down, there's this nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach, that something is missing; she hasn't felt this since she last talked to Finn. It's small, though, and she brushes it away without a second thought.

**/**

It's February, and Jesse ends it with Melanie when he realises he's playing a role again. He doesn't want to hurt her, he tells himself. He realises he's not _in love_ with her anymore; he loves her like he loves performing, like he loves singing, not like he loved (_loves?_) Rachel. Melanie's smart. She's felt it coming for a while now, but she's held onto him until she finally feels him slip away.

There truly are no hard feelings between them; they're still friends. No hearts are completely broken (but it still hurts like hell). When they stop seeing each other, they almost drop off each other's radar completely (because New York is a big city remember, and she's not part of that scene), but every now and then they'll meet up at that coffee shop across from his apartment block, and it'll be like they never broke up.

Melanie talks him through the decision to leave the musical he's spent the last two and a half years with; ultimately it's his decision, there will be other roles he's offered, and he's destined for even greater things (it's in these moments that they become the closest; when they've made the decision to be friends and not lovers).

**/**

One day, they go to see _Oklahoma!_ again, when he finds out there's a new _stunning young ingénue_ playing Laurey. When he sees her up on the stage, it's like he's eighteen again and foolish; she sings and he feels as if it's only for him.

Melanie doesn't ask him about it, just gives him a look that says _so she's the one_.

**/**

Early in the morning one day, just when he realises he's looking out the window again, like a year ago when he found out that Rachel frequented the café across from his apartment block, the woman in question walks into his view. She's gone so quickly through the doors that he almost thinks that he imagined it. In fact, he's almost convinced himself this as he pulls on jeans and the nearest t-shirt he can find, bolting down the stairs and across the road to psyche himself down and calmly walk through the doors.

"Could I get an iced coffee?" he manages to say, the order being the first thing that he can think of; he forces himself not to look for her. In forced composure, he hands over his money and gives his name to the cashier, stuffing the change back into his pocket. He still freezes when he hears a small voice from slightly behind him, and her voice is like the promise of something familiar that he hasn't quite let go of-

"Jesse?"

He turns around, slowly, heart thumping loudly in his ears. "Rachel?"

"I-"

He stares at her, like he hasn't seen her in _Oklahoma!_ weeks ago. She's taller, now, just a little bit (though in retrospect, maybe that was due to the dark ankle boots). She's ditched the high waist skirts and animal sweaters for washed-out skinny jeans and a blazer, and he can't say that it doesn't suit her. But she has a flowery top underneath, and something about her lack of makeup, the way her hair falls below her shoulders, is very _Rachel Berry_.

He's imagined this moment a thousand times over; in some versions, she'd scream and lash out at him, asking him _why_, and he'd try to tell her how he's sorry, but she won't give him the time of day and storm away from him. In other versions, they'd embrace like old friends and talk calmly at each other.

(_It doesn't prepare him for this_.)

"Hi," he says, momentarily lost for words.

"Um, 'Jesse'?" The teenage cashier decides to interrupt at this point, saying something about his ready coffee, and adding an off-hand snarky remark not-quite under his breath, about ignorant Broadway stars and their choices of beverages. Jesse takes the drink with an amused smile; it's a bit contradictory, that the teenager is familiar with musical theatre enough to recognise (and apparently dislike) actors on Broadway.

His smile fades slightly, as he turns back to Rachel. She's still standing there, maybe a little in shock, and he gestures towards a table near the window, clear of other people. She follows him silently, and he's actually not sure if he'd prefer she'd lash out at him or start yelling, rather than this calm, cold silence.

"Rachel Berry, it's been a while," he says with a smile and some of old St. James charm.

"Jesse," she murmurs back, and he can't help but love the way her mouth curls around his name, like-

He clears his throat. "Er, how have you been?"

"I've… It's been good."

She's looking down at the paper cup, hands wrapped around it like she's cold. He frowns at her unresponsiveness. "I saw you in _Oklahoma! _the other week. You were amazing."

She finally looks up into his eyes, and she starts to smile (and damn if he doesn't remember how beautiful she is when she smiles). "I saw you, too. A while ago. You were nominated for a Tony!"

He smiles back in relief. "Yeah, I was," he says, careful not to sound too smug.

"In my opinion, Tommy Clayne didn't deserve it. Maybe Jake Hussey, if not you, but definitely not Tom Clayne. I mean, I saw him about a month ago, and he wasn't nearly as good as he's hyped up to be. You," she pauses, pink dusting her cheeks for the first time, as she realises she's been rambling, "were much better."

Something in him warms as she's talking. "Thanks," is all he can say. Then, "This is bizarre."

She ducks her head, taking a sip of her drink.

He breathes out slowly, looking at her. "I missed you, Rachel Berry."

Something in her eyes flickers, and the next thing he knows is she's standing up, muttering an "I can't do this" and flying out the door before he can say anything else. He's left there, mind reeling from what just happened.

(_The thing is, she's not ready to talk to him, to open up what she thought she had closed seven years ago; she sees something in Jesse's eyes that day, and it scares her._)


	2. Part II

**Summary:** Rachel and Jesse, spanning 14 years. (future!fic)

**Part two! The final part. It's more happy than the last one. :D**

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_fourteen_

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**eight.**

Jesse spends the early hours of New Years with Melanie.

For a moment, through a light-headed haze, he considers getting back with her, just so they're not _alone_ for the night. But she doesn't deserve that, he knows, so he doesn't. They get a little drunk, and laugh at the fireworks burning flowery images into their retinas, eventually just resorting to lying on the roof of his apartment block with a blanket in tow; they talk about everything (Broadway, girls, _Rachel_, her fears for her future career) and nothing (hair, his dress sense, _I Never_, the quality of the alcohol they're consuming) until the first rays of daybreak dawn.

In those hours, Melanie persuades him to go and audition for the lead role in an upcoming musical, since he's _getting lazy_, and she needs him to _look good while shopping with _her_. _When he asks her when he's turned gay, she pushes him and almost causes him to slide right off the roof.

He agrees, though. All this _doing nothing_ has made him restless.

**/**

The next day, he finds out that Rachel is leaving _Oklahoma!_

There's no news of what she's planning on doing next (he knows, because he searches her name in Google, and stays on it long enough to confirm it, before he closes the window with a dramatic flourish. He feels more than creepy looking it up like that). He hopes maybe they'll find each other on the stage.

He doubts it.

**/**

The next week, he finds himself at an impromptu audition with a director he's worked with in the past. The two chat away like old friends, waiting for his leading lady, when _she_ shows up. He hasn't seen her in a month (not even outside his window), and it's almost like a smack in the face to see her _here_. He manages to collect himself quickly, and sneaks her a slightly confused look when she apologises about her lateness like they've never even met before.

Then they're singing together.

He feels eighteen again, young and naive and a bit clueless about love, and her voice is _perfect; _they're singing together and it feels _right_. Unconsciously, he throws more of himself into that song (he fears that maybe he won't get that part back, after).

The director is a little surprised, and tells them, while they're still breathing heavily and staring at each other, that he'll call them later.

**/**

They find a deserted hallway before they act on _it_.

Their first kiss in years is full of frustration and leftover anger and regret, and it faintly tastes of _this is wrong_ and _this feels right_.

After, they realise they still need to talk about _it_.

So they walk to the nearly-empty park across the road, and he talks through everything.

_Everything:_

When the lies started (the beginning), when he realised they were irrelevant (the _Run Joey Run_ video). That what they had was real. That he _did_ love her. And that he _did_ hate her, for a second;

_"I was supposed to just go back to Carmel when it was all said and done, to go back to how things were before I met you. I… was scared that you could make me regret going back. For what happened that day, and for everything, I'm sorry_._"_

What he regrets (everything) and what he doesn't (_them_), what stopped him from coming back (he always knew she was strong enough).

She interjects with how he's changed, and – finally, after a bit – that she forgives him. After eight years.

_"New beginnings, right?"_

_A wry smile. "Hi. I'm Jesse."_

_ "I know who you are_._"_

**/**

So they start again, there.

He takes her out on a date (_7 o'clock, flowers, a crisp button-down shirt and flirting over the meal_).

He gets cast in that musical with her. They're not playing star-crossed lovers (not quite), but they're okay with that. The critics rave about her voice, about the quality she brings to the character that has been played by so many other great musical theatre actresses before, about his acting chops and his underused vocal ability, and briefly, about their chemistry in that duet they sing together.

This time, it's simple. They have no hidden agendas, no jealous ex-boyfriends in the vicinity. It's simple, but it's not easy. Together, they learn to love again, and love each other.

Their life isn't perfect, but it's pretty close.

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**fourteen.**

"Hey, Finn."

"Hi, Rachel."

"Oh God, remember this photo?" interrupts a voice loudly, from somewhere vaguely behind them. The two turn around, seeing the small crowd stumbling over themselves to get a good look at something a happy-looking Asian woman was holding in the middle of the chaos.

"_Geek Club, 2009_," reads Matt, peering over her shoulder with a grin.

"What the _hell_ did they draw on me?" asks a tall Latino beauty, seemingly horrified, as she cranes her neck to get a closer look.

"Oh my gosh, look at your beard, Quinn!"

"All that hard work, just to have my face scribbled out," says Rachel with a smile.

"You kind of suit the afro look, Matt," says Quinn. Matt nudges her playfully, like they are carefree adolescents again.

"Hey, why doesn't Mike or Brittany have any graffiti on them?" Finn speaks up, to loud agreements.

"Yeah!"

"Maybe _they_ were the ones vandalising it!"

Rachel holds a hand to her heart, dramatically; "Mike, Britt, you betrayed us! How could you?"

"Hey, don't look at me," says Mike, holding up his hands in mock-surrender.

"_Hang on_," shouts a high-pitched male voice. Everyone turns to stare at Kurt, who's pointing at the yearbook photo in disgust. "Did they draw _breasts_ and a _skirt_ on me?"

There's a silence as they all look at the photo then each other, and burst into laughter.

"Oh Kurt, I think you look sexy."

"Thanks, Mercedes. I'd say you look stunning too… but, well, I can't take that picture seriously with that permanent marker all over your face."

Suddenly, a _flash_ brightens the room. Brittany grins at her camera, happy with the resulting photo. Everyone looks at her, and she gives her blank stare back, with a tinge of laughter. "What? You guys looked cute."

"We love you too, Brittany," says Santana, who is clearly amused, and links their pinkies before pulling her friend into a spontaneous hug. Puck then decides to attack-hug the two of them, to which they squeal in surprise. Other (ex-)members of the club join in, and soon the whole room is condensed into one huge, giant hug (well, most of the room. Significant others which had also traversed to Lima, OH for the twelfth-year reunion stood off to the side, looking at each other awkwardly).

Rachel detaches herself as the group breaks apart, laughing, and she takes Jesse's hand with a smile. He looks down at their intwined fingers, her ring flashing in the light; he smiles in content.

"That is never going to stop being weird," remarks Kurt, gesturing at their hands.

Tina nods in compliance. "I mean, thirteen – _fourteen_ years ago…"

"Has it really been that long?" wonders Kurt.

The four look reminiscent, and Rachel just looks up at Jesse with a smile.

"A lot can happen in fourteen years."

_fin._

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**If you liked it, be sure to drop a review? (: **

**Also, there is a companion fic to this; it's basically an expansion of the scene where they walk to the park after their audition together, and talk through everything. You can reach it via my profile - called 'Closure'.  
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